WATCH Magazine: October 2022: Ghosts


M*A*S*H Hits

“You can cut me off from the civilized world. You can incarcerate me with two moronic cellmates. You can torture me with your thrice-daily swill. But you cannot break the spirit of a Winchester. My voice shall be heard from this wilderness, and I shall be delivered from this fetid and festering sewer.” —Maj. Charles Winchester (David Ogden Stiers)

Fifty years ago, Hawkeye Pierce and his band of merrymaking medics premiered on CBS. Eleven seasons, 14 Emmys, and countless one-liners later, they still leave us laughing. “What about all the thousands of wonderful guys who are fighting this war without any of the credit or the glory that always goes to those lucky few who just happen to get shot?” —Maj. Frank Burns (Larry Linville)

“Remember what the good book says: Love thy neighbor or I’ll punch your

lights out!” —Father Francis Mulcahy (William Christopher)

“I am not so think as you drunk I am.” —Maj. Margaret “Hot Lips” Houlihan (Loretta Swit)

“I’ve got a soft spot for Klinger. He looks a little like my son, and he dresses a lot like my wife.” —Col. Sherman T. Potter (Harry Morgan)

“This is Frank Burns, one of our best surgeons. A real killer.” —Lt. Col. Henry Blake (McLean Stevenson)

“I can take umbrage, I can take the cake, I can take the A-train. I can take two and call me in the morning, but I cannot take this sitting down.” —Capt. Benjamin Franklin “Hawkeye” Pierce (Alan Alda)

“Why don’t you sirs act like sirs, sir?” —Cpl. Walter “Radar” O’Reilly (Gary Burghoff)

“If I had all the answers, I’d run for God.” —Cpl. Max Klinger (Jamie Farr)

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